‘Twas the week before Christmas, and all through her head,
the blogger’s poetic instincts were dead.
Her ideas were drifting, and shifting, and weird:
Why create a mountain—and continue to climb it?
Why take a blog post then go, ‘I know, let’s rhyme it?’
I’ve used up the good words: ‘sElfie,’ ‘Mariah’…
All I have left is awkward, contrived. Ugh.
Maybe a pivot? But what rhymes with ‘Hannukah?’”
Then came a knock. ‘Twas her co-worker, Jonica!
“Hey Toby, somebody brought fresh-baked cookies.
You might want to—” But Toby had already booked it
and assembled a plate, and eaten, like, three.
“No reindeer,” she said between mouthfuls, “no tree!
I know how to end on the perfect holiday mood.
The answer is obvious! The answer is food!”
From Santa’s Code of Conduct:
“Foods in the Workplace: Please stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup. Hannukah Gelt is welcome as a special treat. Eggnog is permitted at the North Pole workshop, but never imbibe before operating the big toy machine. Chestnuts must be roasted over open fires; no cutting corners with microwaves.”