The Spreadsheet Eater? Check. Tedium? Check. Mr. Snap? Check. We’re halfway down the list of Compliance Monsters and, despite a few close calls (those binder rings are sharper than they look) the process has actually been pretty straightforward: remove the underlying source of the monster and the monster will go away.
Easy. But wait—do you feel like it’s been a little too easy? You know, I’m starting to wonder if this series is even necessary. Now that I’m thinking about it, yeah, it’s probably not necessary. I’m sure you can fill in the rest from here. Okay, that sounds good. I’m going to take a na—
Hang on. Uh-oh. Something isn’t right here. Let’s just keep going and see what happens, I guess.
The Compliance Monsters are back, and they’re more fearsome than ever. If you’ve felt a chill walking by that abandoned office full of paperwork, or if you’ve been editing a spreadsheet and the lights have suddenly started to flicker, you’d better beware. Mr. Snap, the Obfusticator, Malaise, the Spreadsheet Eater, Tedium, and That Which Shall Not Be Named have returned to their old haunts, and our intel suggests they’re more fearsome this year than ever before.
But so are we. And this time, we’re fighting back. Join Compli’s monster-hunting squad as we track the Compliance Monsters down and drive them away for good. Throughout October, we’ll show you how to eradicate these creatures one by one.
Meet Melanie Ays (Mel, for short), our guest blogger this week.
EDIT: Wow. A lot happened here. We just chased her out of the office, but I’m leaving up what “Mel Ays” wrote above as a cautionary tale. Malaise can strike any workforce, at any time. Sometimes, as in this case, all she needs is an employee who skipped lunch.
Clearly, we need to be even more diligent in our approach. To prevent a Malaise attack at your workplace, do what we should have done before writing this blog post: take regular breaks, stretch, and eat a snack.
Sometimes, attending to those basic needs may not be enough. Treat apathy and cynicism like the crises they are. Remember that compliance is about doing the right thing, not just checking tasks off of a list. Don’t forget that you’re human—and so are the people who keep your compliance management system moving smoothly. Every consideration, no matter how trivial it may seem, should focus on the unique needs and personalities of the people who work for you.
Next Up: The Obfusticator
Whew. I hope that Malaise acting more aggressive than usual means that the Compliance Monsters are getting desperate, but I can’t help but feel shaken by everything that just happened. Maybe I should take that nap. We’re going to need the energy to deal with our next foe: The Obfusticator.