We’re thrilled to announce the reveal of Compli’s first feature film, adapted from our Compliance Monsters series—watch the trailer here!
…Okay, so we don’t have the budget for an actual movie trailer, but we did write a screenplay. Besides, your imagination is more powerful than special effects, right?
EXT. OFFICE TOWER – NIGHT
The cold October wind howls past the windows of Average.ly, a run-of-the-mill consumer finance company occupying the 13th floor of the Knott-Curst office building in downtown Portland, Oregon. A blue light shines dimly through a window at the corner of the floor.
INT. AVERAGE.LY OFFICES – NIGHT
SARAH, a workforce compliance manager, sits at her desk, illuminated only by the glow from her laptop screen. She holds her forehead in her hand and sighs. Her CELL PHONE vibrates on the edge of her desk and falls to the floor. She grunts, gets out of her chair, crawls under her desk to retrieve the phone, and answers.
Hi, honey… Yeah, I’m still at work… It’s the customer complaints again. You know how old our system is… Yeah, I dunno—it might be a late night.
She continues talking. Approximately 40 feet down the hall, a closet door creaks open, revealing a glimpse of an antiquated FILE CABINET. A faint SCRATCHING SOUND can be heard. Sarah takes notice, stands up, and turns around.
Listen, I just need to finish this up. I’m going to try to be quick—it gets kind of creepy in here after dark… Yeah, I know. I know it’s the third late night this week, but the month’s almost over…
The door creaks open wider. More noises occur—RUSTLING, TAPPING, a mosquito-like BUZZING—gradually increasing in volume and intensity.
Do you hear that? I need to call you back. I’ll call you back.
She ends the phone call. The noises are closer, louder, and stranger now—Sarah can hear OOZING and GULPING. Silhouettes approach.
She taps the flashlight button on her phone and shines the light in front of her, illuminating the COMPLIANCE MONSTERS: THE OBFUSTICATOR, MR. SNAP, MALAISE, THE SPREADSHEET EATER, TEDIUM, and THAT WHICH SHALL NOT BE NAMED.
They lunge toward the camera.
SMASH CUT TO:
TITLE OVER: Compliance Monsters 4: Missing Attachment
Yeah, maybe it was better in our heads. In any case, consider this your annual public service announcement: it’s Compliance Monster Season!
Around this time each year, 6 dreadful creatures emerge from the shadows to terrorize compliance professionals. If you’ve heard binders snapping open and shut when there’s no one else one around, or if you’ve been suddenly seized by terror while editing a spreadsheet, it’s because the baddies are back and badder than ever.
Fortunately, we’ve fought the Compliance Monsters several times before, and we have the information you need to keep your company safe. Read Compli’s Compliance Monsters Field Guide, and download a free poster for your office, by clicking here—if you dare!