Elf Ethics: Santa’s Data Privacy Policy
‘Twas two weeks before Christmas, and all through the shop,
not a device was offline, not even the mop.
Yes, Santa’d invested in a high-speed cable.
It was all “smart” and “connected” and WiFi-enabled—
from tree to HVAC unit, things blinking with light
like Rudolph’s schnoz, but not quite as bright.
It caused an elf (named Eflie) to wonder:
“What becomes of our data, our digital blunders?
“Can anyone see what we do online?” thought Elfie.
“The naughty and nice list? Oh crud! The selfie
I took with the Heat Miser last Christmas Eve
when I’d had too much punch and thought he was Steve
from Accounting—is that a part of the world wide web?
I should talk to HR. I need to call Deb.”
So Elfie and Deb sat down for a chat.
It started with small talk—“I like your new hat”—
but Deb had a sense for insincere jollity.
She got to the point. “Take a look at our policy:”
“Personal Data: Naughty and nice data collected on children around the world is kept securely in cold storage for 18 years. Access to this data is made in accordance with local North Pole law and Santa Workshop internal policies, and kept secure according to those standards.
Social Media Policy on sElfies: Social media may be used for workshop-sponsored activities and for personal use, communication and networking in accordance with workshop policies. ‘sElfies’ taken inside Santa’s Workshop are considered proprietary and intellectual property, and cannot be shared with the public. After all, what we do is make special magic for children around the world.”
“Phew!” sighed Eflie. “That Steve thing was tragic.”
Deb smiled and nodded. “Well, HR is magic.”
For more elf ethics from Santa’s Code of Conduct, click here.
Missed Part 1? Catch up on Santa’s non-discrimination policy.
