Elf Ethics: Santa’s Non-Discrimination Policy
‘Twas three weeks before Christmas, and all through his feeds,
Santa read reports of lawsuits—of foibles, misdeeds—
and all manner of stories too awful to share.
“What happened to joy? What happened to care
for all of those people we’re supposed to protect?”
Ol’ Saint Nick, the biz owner, had to reflect.
“What makes my elves secure, productive, and merry?
It’s not the decor… It’s not Mariah Carey…
It’s not the overtime we work in December…
It’s not all the lists—oh, now I remember!”
And with that he dashed off to send out a note:
“Dearest friends at Compli—it’s Santa,” he wrote,
“I know why so many employers’ goals are mismatched
with their real-world performance—please see attached.”
In Portland, a marketing manager felt a vibration.
She unlocked her phone, and exclaimed, with elation:
“An email from Santa! What gift has he sent?”
It was an excerpt from a Code of Conduct, which went:
“Here at the North Pole, we observe a Holly Jolly Policy, where everyone is treated with respect and dignity.
No Discrimination: Elves will not be discriminated against based on height, and all reindeer are eligible to play in reindeer games. Also, nose color or glowing ability is not a factor in employment status.”
She pasted the quote on the blog, her spirits renewed.
“If Santa’s workshop can do it,” she wrote, “you can too.”
For more elf ethics from Santa’s Code of Conduct, click here.
