The Compliance Monsters Hiding Under Your Bed
We’ve noticed a surprising correlation: People in charge of compliance activities for their organization tend to have trouble getting a good night’s sleep.
We were puzzled by this phenomenon, and brought in a team of forensic scientists to work with these compliance professionals and get to the root of this troubling insomnia.
Their Conclusion: Monsters
Specifically compliance monsters hiding under their bed. Upon further exploration, the scientists were able to classify these monsters into 6 common types. Here’s who they found:
Do you hear that metallic snapping sound?
That’s Mr. Snap looking for trouble. Got a policy you want to put in place? Need to make sure your people know about upcoming changes that impact their day to day activities? Mr. Snap knows…and when you least expect it, out he jumps and shoves all those important pieces of information into a dusty 3 ring binder, never to be seen again.
The Obfusticator takes whatever you say and adds a plethora of jargon, legalese, and meaningless noise – to the point that what people actually hear is utter and complete nonsense. His specialty is creating incomprehensible policies that no one wants to read. He also likes to rear his ugly head during all hands meetings and earnings calls.
He knows what you need to keep track of, and when you need to keep track of it.
The Spreadsheet Eater’s a patient one, waiting to strike right before your audit or before you need to pull reports for your senior management. He loves to eat data…cell by cell, row by row. And he has a terribly cruel sense of humor.
She’s often spotted along with the Spreadsheet Eater. They like to hunt as a team.
Tedium is the one who adds 5 more items to your to-do list when you step away. You can tell that Tedium has made her appearance when you stop to notice how many steps it takes to get from the start of your compliance initiative to completion. She has a special soft spot for things that need to be submitted in triplicate.
This one hides deep under your bed…you can really only see the red of his eyes if you look hard enough.
But you can always feel his presence. He usually strikes after the other monsters have inflicted their damage. He oozes fear and leaves a nasty trail of lawsuits, regulatory fines, and bad publicity in his wake. He’s happiest when he knows you’re still awake with the covers pulled tight over your head.
Now that you know the evil lurking under your bed, how do you banish it?
Our forensic scientists experimented with many different means of extrication and determined that Workforce Compliance Automation is most effective at banishing Compliance Monsters.
By automating the compliance activities that affect your workforce you reduce the consequences of non-compliance (so long, That Which Shall Not Be Named). This saves you time and money (goodbye, Tedium), while making compliance easy for your entire workforce (be gone, Malaise!).
The trusty team at Compli has years of experience banishing compliance monsters for companies of all sizes. We’d be happy to check under your bed and recommend concrete steps to get rid of any nasties hiding under there.